Man Devastated To Discover That His Favorite ‘Secret Road’ Is Clearly Visible On Google Maps
Man Devastated To Discover That His Favorite ‘Secret Road’ Is Clearly Visible On Google Maps
Local motorcyclist, William Clark, is in mourning this morning as he has been informed that every major maps app – with their billions of combined users – has marked, named, and plotted his ‘secret, twisty road that nobody knows about.’
This revelation came after William sat down to enjoy his favorite morning routine of going online, searching ‘Tail of the Dragon,’ and letting everyone know that the road is super overrated and crowded.
“I had just clicked ‘enter’ on the keyboard to send my typical ‘I know a place much better where traffic doesn’t exist, where the road is always freshly paved, where it never rains, and where the R7 never replaced the R6,’” William said. “That’s when I got a reply to my comment that said the unthinkable… ‘you talking about hwy276? Love that road!’”
The comment came from username xXLikeMyRoadsLikeMyNipples_TwistedXx, who was verified to be a real person and not AI – since AI likely will never be messed up enough to replicate usernames like that.
“I couldn’t believe it,” William said. “I’ve always been careful to never mention the road’s name to anyone as a sign of gratitude for the state putting in a 25-mile stretch of curvy road just for my enjoyment… that’s when I found a maps app from some startup company called Goggles… or Google… something like that.”
William reportedly spent the next several hours seeing his road after secret road being exposed, clear as day, for the entire world to see.
“They even show the little squiggles that represent all the curves in the road,” William said. “Literally anyone can just hop online and browse the roads in their area and see all the roads that area has to offer. You can even click on it and it will show you photos of the road so you can see if it’s paved nicely or not. It’s insane.”
William has decided to move on from being a know-it-all prick about local roads.
“It’s time to flip the page and move on to telling people that I know coffee that’s better than the coffee they enjoy.”
“I had just clicked ‘enter’ on the keyboard to send my typical ‘I know a place much better where traffic doesn’t exist, where the road is always freshly paved, where it never rains, and where the R7 never replaced the R6. That’s when I got a reply to my comment that said the unthinkable… ‘you talking about hwy276? Love that road!’”
